Sir Patrick Stewart To Return As Jean-Luc Picard In A New Star Trek Series For CBS All Access


#1

#2

#3

I heard it is going to be a home renovation show where Picard just walks from room to room identifying how many lights there are.


#4

The correct answer is four.


#5

Not according to the contractor, Gul Madred. He says some of the rooms have 5 lights.


#6

Also that the previous owners used a substandard grade of materials in their dilithium chamber ducting, and that the entire system is going to have to be ripped out and replaced to bring it up to code. Its going to cost an extra four bars of gold pressed latinum, which means probably all the upgrades in the upstairs bathroom are out. But on the bright side, the new ducting will improve energy output by around 3% and should save you money in the long run on things like using the transporter, running deflector shields, and using the holodeck.


#7

Screw that.

I’ll just drop shields and let a puny Bird of Prey destroy the ship, and Starfleet will give me a newer, bigger, better ship for free.


#8

And that attitude is why there is such an immense, unsustainable housing bubble in the Federation. That thing is going to burst before too long, and when it does, its going to be huge, and its going to be ugly. And dont come complaining to me when the Ferengi swoop in and buy up everything for a pittance.


#9

Bah.

The Federation has no need for money. Its been eliminated.

We just use a giant matter replicator to make new ships.