Good morning, friends
Have a great day
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Tyler, sorry I let you down & couldn’t get the win last night
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Good morning, everyone 
Have a great day!
Jack? Still busy? 
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Good morning.
Let the uproar begin and may your day be filled with camels and Tinky Winky’s.
With clear vision of many things I know that you guys and gals wait with bated breath for my most untimely appearances and hang on EVERY word.
So, here ya go.
Its 8 am and I’m awaiting the arrival of a dozen eggs and the making of an omelet when Chara walks in the door.
I had 2 dozen eggs yesterday and its her fault that I dont have any this morning. 
It has something to do with a few words from this demon succubus woman Chara as we sat in my driveway which showed me an option I hadn’t considered.
It involves a no ball, bitchy Karen, pussy ass Yankee fan in stupid clothes, downstairs neighbor who I’ve never spoken to, who, surprisingly does not seem at all happy, eggs, the aforementioned new “Vibrating Massager” and directions on how to loosen up butt muscles.
The words “Praise Jesus!” and “Allah Akbar!” being yelled, while running around the parking lot by some dumbass may be in be in play here as well.
And a newly disfunctional security camera, that said dumbass didn’t know was there until said demom succubus woman pointed it out.
So, the omelet is penence for this funny ass transgression.
Before she got here yesterday we had this conversation, enjoy, or dont, laugh, yell or scream, its all good. Upsetting apple carts seems to be something I embrace for very good reasons…
And this does have baseball reference, which interestingly enough Chara turned me onto 30 years ago.
JL:
2 for 2
A helluva batting average. 1.000
Just got home.
I’ve gone to a small laundromat in the small town of Belmont across the street from a church twice.
Both times I’ve left with a cute girls number.
Actually this time 2, they were together.
So I guess that’s 3 for 2 and that’s actually an impossible batting average. Something like 1.233 and a billion following digits.
You know, I’m absolutely not looking for anyone.
This is the type of thing that happens when:
A. Your countenance is genuinely happy, kind and confident.
B. You’re as drop dead gorgeous as I am.
Or
C. You’ve completely run out of clean clothes and you go to the laundromat in your sexy black lingerie.
All 3 were in play both times.
Going round and round in my head trying to find the key one, cuz I wanna keep repeating it.
Chara:
JL:
And as I was outside smoking a butt waiting for Gordon to pick me I noticed a statue of the Virgin Mary at the church across the street.
You would not believe the thoughts that were running through my head as I was contemplating the existence of the Virgin Mary.
Chara:
Oh yes I would.
But for God’s sake Mark, do not let those words escape your fingers and share them with the world.
Me and Melissa are the only 2 women on earth who totally understand, appreciate, love and laugh our asses off at the insights and your warped sense of humor.
I’ll be there in 10 and I want to hear every detail of every thought going through your head while you were pondering the possibile existence of the Virgin Mary.
JL:
I dunno, lightning rods, apple carts, litmus test on other people’s thinking and souls?
Chara:
I saw your Christmas message about Joseph and it was perfect. Not sure your brother is ever gonna talk to you again. But it was perfect.
But just dont.
8 minutes out.
Just don’t, OK?
JL:
Ok. 
Yeah, 8 minutes alone is way too much time to be left unsupervised.
It did create the vehicle for a helluva conversation with Claremonster about witches, who, unsurprisingly, I am friends with a few of. That he dated one, that I did too, a very pretty one who owned a shop in Salem. How cool it was for both us and the suggestion of a brand of a Scarlet Letter A and the mystery of the vanishing of a witch in Salem at the suggestion.
I mean, really, the vanishing thing? They really are magical it seems guys.
Poof, gone, just like that.
If you’ve read this far my sincerest thank you and God Bless You, yer gonna need it. 
Send your addresses and I’ll fire up same day Amazon deliveries of industrial strength eye wash and if you’d like a “Vibrating Massager”. 
PS Not a single word of this untrue except the sexy black lingerie. I dont wear that out of the house. 
Let that sink in.
Good morning.
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Didn’t last long
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Ya know, how this beautiful and brilliant soul does not want us spend eternity together is a mystery for the ages.
We are perfect for each other.
I mean about 2 weeks ago she found it absolutely necessary to share with me, first thing in the morning that she got lucky for the first time in over a year with a meme of a praying mantis standing over her mate with no head that she had just eaten with the words “Someone just got laid”. Because I so love pictures of bugs. 
And sent that to this poor guy the next morning as well.
There is so much truth in that 1 meme.
I’m pretty sure this guy is a warlock, cuz poof, gone, vanished into thin air like my witch in Salem.
I was thinking last night that I should commission a study of why we arent together for all eternity for all of humanity.
Cuz if anyone figures out the answer it will be the key that unlocks the universe and a full and clear Unified Physics Theory of the Universe will be right there waiting for us.
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Good morning., y’all.
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Morning
One of our new people quit already. AGAIN. 
Insane day.
Chat later
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Poor Tyler
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So sorry, Tyler 
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Can we do this job from home I’d help you if we could.
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Thanks folks! I wish you guys could 
Lets just hope my interview goes well on January 11
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Sooooo my area is out of my pain med. I run out in 4-5 days. This will be fun. 
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Oh no!! Can you order some Muse?
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I’ve been using this CBD stock from the weed store. Have had next to no back pain it’s amazing
Only thing is it smells super strong of mint type medicine so makes my shirts smell minty lmao
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Canada and USA at 5:30 tonight
This should be an amazing game
We’re ordering pizza for the game. Pepperoni
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Trying to move my script to a pharmacy that has it. The problem is since it’s a pain med I cant get more than a 30 day supply at a time which I get but just trying to move ducks in row. Hubby response was they’ll get some in. Nice support dear. Maybe when I cant move parts of my body youll get it( smallish rant )
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Ugh sound’s frustrating Muse. Hope you get the medicine you need 
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Nice. Sign Devers long term now lol
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